the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I cockslap morals
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
