I cannot find my penis.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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