i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
