he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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