OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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