Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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