He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
