FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
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I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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