whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
