So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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