If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
