i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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