i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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