maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari