There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"