felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
29 Shocking Confessions That People Thought Were A Joke
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night