i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts