So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.