i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.