Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
