Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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