idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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