I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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