You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize