It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am one with the molecules
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
