i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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