I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
