i just wanna soil my oats bro
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
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we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
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They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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