You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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