Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize