think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
