I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You're like the curious george of whores
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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