come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
