South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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