i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
