just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
