just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize