After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
