I want to make a zoo with you.
Do vagina's smell?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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