I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
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It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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