Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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