After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
