Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
