that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
