ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
