No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
