I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
