Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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