no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
