I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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