Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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