please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't turn off my feet"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
