now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
