Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
then he tried to convert me to islam
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
