Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
