she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
