my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
