this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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