I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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