and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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