too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
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She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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