the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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